POLITICS
and the Women in My Life
Written by GLORIA NEAL
Photo of Gloria Neal by KIT WILLIAMS
Where do I begin this
time? What do I want to
talk about? Let’s talk
about the word
“woman.” The dictionary defines the
word as an adult female person. A
noun. But any woman who works all
day and comes home to work even
more at night doesn’t feel like a noun.
She feels like a verb!
We women do so much. We do for
each other, for our co-workers, for our
families, for our mates and then try to
squeeze in some time for ourselves
(we need to work on that last one,
ladies). I am proud to say that over the
past few years I have met many
women from various walks of life and
political affiliations who have inspired
me to do for others.
In my chosen profession of journalism,
I have met countless individuals —
from celebrities to everyday folks; from
city council members to United States
Senators; from the young and active to
the old and very frail; from the sick and
courageous to the healthy and stupid.
You name it, I’ve met them (and prayed
for them because some of them were
fools). My momma used to say, “God
protects children and fools ... and his
list of fools is longer.”
Nonetheless, one thing was true
among all my encounters — they had
varying degrees of passion for the causes
they believed in, but if I had to rank
the categories according to which
group was the most passionate about
its cause, it would be politicians.
Specifically women politicians —
regardless of whether they are directly
or indirectly involved in politics and
regardless of whether there is a “D,”
“R” or an “I” after their names, their
passion is unyielding.
I have noticed in this political season
that there are more and more women
involved in the political process. The
reasons behind this, I’m sure, are as
diverse as the people asked to respond
to the question. For me, it doesn’t really
matter. I think the more women at the
political table, the better the food tastes.
There are three women whom I call
friends who are definitely at the table.
They have all whetted my appetite and
nourished my curious spirit over the
past few years. I have come to know,
respect and listen to each of these
women as they have embraced and
talked me through some difficult periods
in my life. I will not list them in the
order that protocol dictates, but instead
I will list them in the order they came
into my life.
In my neighborhood, some of us get
together every two to three months to
slow down so we can gab and catch up.
Everything is done face to face — no
references to sent e-mails are allowed.
It was at one of these gatherings that I
met Karen Middleton. Now I will state up front that neither Karen’s (nor any of the other ladies’)
party affiliation or title is important for the purpose of this
story. Suffice it to say that all three women are involved in
politics to varying degrees.
I can remember the first time I saw and heard Karen
speak. I caught a glimpse of this very attractive woman
from across the living room when my husband and I
arrived for a gathering. I watched as Karen moved in and
out of conversations with
ease, like a well-greased
pan releasing its muffins. I
wanted to know who this
woman was and why I had
never seen her before.
When she approached me,
the conversation went down
the usual road of “Who are
you and what do you do?” to “...that sounds interesting,
how did you get involved in that?” It wasn’t until she spoke
about her passions that I knew she was in politics.
To me, Karen epitomizes the belief that the only way to
change government is to get in government. She believes
you can’t change it from the outside in but rather from the
inside out! Apparently, you have to get in the boat called“government” and pick up an oar and row in order to understand
why folks in that boat sometimes want to stop rowing.
Somewhere in that conversation we began to talk about the
salaries associated with being a public servant. I will never
forget the grimace on her face as she told me how much (or
little) a state representative makes. I’m sure she will never
forget the look of pain and sorrow on my face after hearing
the salary range. With all that public servants sacrifice, they
deserve so much more. I remember thinking, “That’s why
they’re called public servants.”
You truly have to be driven and passionate about your
beliefs in order to be in politics — especially at the local level.
As our conversation migrated from politics into other relationships,
we both opened up about our lives. Nothing
unusual or earth-shattering. However, I quickly learned that
none of the challenges she faced shook her resolve or commitment
to stay the political course. Hearing her story
inspired me, and I hope by sharing it, you too will be inspired.
The next politically passionate woman I met was a woman
I call “Momma Tauer.” Now Momma Tauer is the mother of
Ed Tauer, the current mayor of Aurora, the second-largest city
in Colorado. Momma Tauer also is the wife of the former
mayor of Aurora, Paul Tauer. Needless to say, her nickname
at Aurora City Hall is “Momma Mayor.” I came to know her
while hosting my radio show. She is one vibrant whippersnapper
of a woman — perfect for an “Ask Momma” segment.
I must admit I had the idea of “Ask Momma” in my
head long before I met Mrs. Tauer, but the second I met her, I
knew I had found my “momma” for the show. And just as I
suspected, she was an instant hit.
For background purposes, a synopsis of my show was all
things women – pure and simple. Especially women who
were over the age of 35 with jobs, hips, cellulite, children,“practice” husbands or real ones all involved in their daily
lives. My mantra was if women were talking about it at home,
then I should be talking about it on my show. That mantra
gave birth to the idea of my having on an older, wiser woman
who wasn’t afraid to tell it like it is to us younger women
when it came to marriage,
raising kids, relatives, how to
survive politics and everything
in between. After all,
Momma Tauer has been married
to the same man for
more than 50 years.
Now Momma Tauer is the
kind of woman who can
chastise you one minute and give you a verbal cookie the
next. She’s warm and fuzzy all over, the way an Egyptian cotton
towel feels fresh from the dryer. But stray just a little, and
you will find Momma Tauer can go from 0 to 60 in four seconds,
leaving skid marks across your forehead. Being in her
presence reminds me of something my mother used to say to
me: “A child loves discipline. Now do what I told you to do
and don’t talk back.” “Yes ma’am,” I would reply.
I believe Momma Tauer would agree with that statement.
After all, it still applies today because you never really grow
up to your momma – or to a momma figure. I think of the saying
I didn’t know what it meant until I got much older and
came to appreciate the sentiment behind the statement. Now,
I’ve come to understand that to show guidance and discipline
is to show love — especially when it’s woman to womanchild.
Momma Tauer, thank you for embracing me with your
warm emotional hug of Egyptian cotton. Thank you for
spending some of your days imparting the wisdom that
helped me get through some tough days. I was and still am
truly inspired by everything you represent in this community
and this country.
The last woman, but certainly not the least, is Colorado’s
first lady, Jeannie Ritter. Where do I begin? Jeannie is a walking
force to be reckoned with. She is one of the most energetic,
positive women I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.
Our paths crossed about a year ago after I pitched her
(and she liked it) on the idea of doing a segment focusing on
her life as an active woman, a mom and a wife — not just as
the first lady of Colorado. My thinking at that time was being
the first lady is a very important role; however, women in
Colorado wanted to get to know her, and in order for that to
happen, she needed to take a risk and allow me (and others)
into her life via live radio — YIKES!
But if you know “daredevil” Jeannie, you know she never
hesitated for a second. She embraced and trusted my intentions
from the start (of course, I had good references). I
named the segment “Fridays with the First Lady.” Jeannie was a hit because she was being herself. What a time we had
talking about everything nonpolitical.
Now I’m not naive. I understand the risk the first lady
took by allowing me into the lives of her and her family. I
know that being at her level in politics can be a verbal
minefield. Everything you say can be used, twisted and
turned into something politically unattractive. But that wasn’t
the case with Jeannie. She held back nothing. This
woman — mother, activist, wife, athlete and first lady —
showed me the true meaning of grace under fire and unwavering
class.
Many mornings we talked about the challenges facing
those suffering from mental illness. Jeannie has picked up
this charge and is not taking no for an answer. She is doing
something about the lack of access and care on behalf of the
mentally ill. My father always used to tell my mother, “If you
want to see a strong man — look beside him because there’s
an even stronger woman standing next to him.” Thank you,
Pop, and thank you, Jeannie, for being you.
So, ladies and gentlemen [closet readers], as we
approach the holidays and feel the fever pitch of a wellwatched
political season, be inspired and get involved, and
if you are already involved, stay involved. Your involvement
will no doubt inspire others, as I have been inspired.
Remember this — if you are not at the table, you can’t complain
about being hungry.
Right now, we are being inundated with political ads in
Colorado, but wherever you fall along the political spectrum,
I say, “Thank you, ladies.” Thank you for getting
involved. Thank you for showing your daughters and sons
and husbands the importance of being involved. Thank you
for saying you will not sit this one out. Thank you for reaching
out to me and showing me what to do without ridicule
or embarrassment.
For there are women out there who want to get involved
but are intimidated by the process, or they’ve been told to
wait their turn. To that I say, “Wait my turn? I was a premature
baby because I couldn’t wait any longer!” Ladies, stop
being afraid of what could be and start embracing what will
be, if you just get involved. Fear is for someone else to
worry about.
Now, I’m not saying to become a workhorse. Don’t ever forget
to take care of yourself, but also recognize your importance.
We women have always been about action — doing, taking
charge of any situation life presents. Do I have to remind you
that you have given birth to nations and nurtured the smartest
minds on the planet? For all that men have accomplished (and
we do love our men), they could not have succeeded without
the help of a woman — whether she was their wife, mother, sister,
aunt, niece or girlfriend. Just because we started voting late
doesn’t mean we have to vote last.
Ladies, being involved in this political season sets an
example for other ladies — young and old. It is the ultimate
pay it forward.
